The Story of the Genie’s Wishes

The genie always granted wishes to everyone that lived in the town just outside of the cave that he hid his god-children, you see he had all a thing of his nature could want.  And not a soul ever asked him what he wished. Never asked him what he desired.  What did the Genie want? Did he just want to make wishes come true for all the famous and attractive people around him?

Kimmy didn’t think so, she was a Korean sorcerer and very very hot to trot as they say...behind her back.  Kimmy had a huge crush on the Genie.  She knew him as Big Lu. The Big Lu that gave her father the wish of a lumber yard, the wish of the strongest body in the town, and the wish to feel sexual pleasures while eating. Kimmy saw her dad turn into a big old self involved jerk and treat her and her brother, L’aurent poorly and badly at the same time he was pulling double shifts as a gym instructor simply for the rush of it. So they were angry at him because he never had time for them and something had to change...kid style.

Big Lu wandered through his work.  From one client to the next.  He was looking for a change in a big way.  This is when he found a dusty old magic mirror ball on his way to work.  Lu stood in front of the cruddy beat to shit ball on the side of the road that was made out of dust and dirt and threw several scraps of bread in the ball’s general direction just to provoke the ball, which is a very efficient way to  piss off balls.  Seeing that this was a very special ball for strange magic he giggled and looked around and tackled the ball with a semi-erection, giddily rubbing and sweating on the dusty ball. Just then Kimmy appeared to present herself to the Genie, you see.  Kimmy yelled, “how dare you! You of all Genies Dare to disrespect my deep slumber to get greedy on me! How DISGUSTED i am! How rude I believe you to be! What am I a means to an end to you! You are acting like a foolish kitten at the beach!” on and on she went, non-stop, lowering the genies idea of himself and irritating his delicate ego, calling him a foolish genie for wanting more than the duty of granting human wishes.   
After such and such has transpired the genie begged for one simple wish and Kimmy listened knowing that there was no way a human sorcerer could grant a genie a wish because she is simply a brave human with a true magic heart and an absurdly extreme curious nature. “All I ask is to feel what it feels like to be the neediest loneliest human so that I may make fun of it later when I am transformed back to my full power as a eternal super genie! Does that translate my genie friend!,” wishes the genie.
Just then a gang of differently classes robbers come out of the woods and attack Kimmy and cut all of her hair off and kick her in the butt to make her feel the shame of being covered in dirt and slop from the puddle that awaits her.  They walk away in disgust and yell derogatory remarks in her direction.  In her agony, some wacky uncontrollable magic flew the genie’s way.  As it turns out, it was wish magic.  The same elusive wish magic that sorcerers are so weary to harness as it is said it may end the life of any sorcerer who wields it.
Kimmy says to the genie, “you wish is granted!” and the Genie says, “do you mean, ‘Your wish is granted?’”
Kimmy says, “YES! You rude fool! It is granted! Now you should feel as sad and as unattractive and unappealing and lonesome as a cold poop!”
The genie looks at his arms and legs, rubbing them and moaning, “ohhhhh. I do! I do!” this is horrible!”

“My brain!” screamed the genie.  Big Lu felt all of the hot blood cram itself into his frontal lobe.  Kimmy’s tricks were becoming real!  Although they weren’t the tricks she wish she were turning on Big Lu.  Big Lu staggered all over the dirt path, and stumbled over some rocks and into sharp buzzard bones.  The bones pierced through his abdomen and straight into his cerebellum.  Juicy cerebellum jelly squoozed out and dribbled down his neck which had been sunburned because of all the pain his brain was being attacked with.  Big Lu shook, shuddered, and shivered further into the buzzard bones, and his torso landed itself into a human femur, which is the longest bone.  Somebody had just found the bone in a volcano and threw it away because it was so hot, and so the long hot bone felt like lava inside Big Lu’s new human nervous system.  Big Lu instantly wished he was not being looked over by the almost dead and aroused Kimmy whose badly murdered face was smiling quietly a few meters behind him.  “no you fool!,” she pointed. This is the wish you asked for is basically what she conveyed to the Greenish blue man figure that was the Genie, Lu.

In the damp cave he was greeted at the door by the god-children that were now cruel and not afraid of their fathers seemingly impotent demeanor.  “Treat me harshly children! I crave those sensations!” they poked and pushed the flaming bones and sun-heated rocks that were sticking inside of his skin from the drag to the cave.  Kimmy, as a salty drug vapor, engulfed the god-children to make them more restless and confrontational to promote a more hostile environment for the squirming genie, who was at that point rolling back and forth on the floor of the cave in a way that looked like sped up film. Even his voice was more high pitched because he was moving so fast that his esophagus was stretched in a way that lightened up the sound of his groaning and moaning.  Should a normal be watching the scene they would have definitely died instantly from seeing the horror, but there were none, this was an affair for specials only.

Suddenly a time travel turtle was chucked into the old cave by unseen hands of some nameless specials.  Everybody grabbed on and the light got all crazy, like the lights turned into lazy lazors or bad beams of very ugly and powerful rays of disgusting energy.   Big Lu and his god-children were transported! They all screamed as they twirled round and round the annals of time,  one of the god-children died from this happening to it. But the deceased god-child was not accurately mourned as there was no time because they landed in NEW YORK CITY on NEW YEARS EVE the craziest night of the year, where people find out who they are and what they are going to end up being. Nothing like it. The DJs were just getting warmed up and the MOMA was just starting a big art auction. People will come up to you and just start talking about whatever’s on their minds and the food tastes just a little contemporary.

Kimmy’s face appears in the clouds for all to see, bread is broken and hearts are turned on to this new music called blargh-Blargh, its like rock and dance music where you have to learn dance moves to let people know that you are up on it to see it.  D’ya know what I mean? Yeah Yeah.
“Abe! Baby! Abe! Abe! C’mon man!
The books in the mail but you gotta give me that check I can’t hold these guys off forever. I’m out on the street just like everyone else trying not to realize that I’m a joke like that one guy with the bootleg jeans.  Come one. Come all to gimmie a break. Just one break I won’t let you down.  I can’t afford it!
Look you know I like you. I always have, you’re cute and you have the guts of a killer. A shark! But we know these guys don’t play around.  they’ll cut you up and won’t care if it makes the papers.  You know that...”
Then he slams the limo door and Big Lu can see how pathetic he looks in the reflection of the tinted window, with mud and bags under his weak willed hams.  The limo splashes away and knocks over a garbage car with fire coming out of it carelessly.  
“I can see that the party is still going on upstairs. I guess I’m not getting any sleep tonight oh well, with friends like that you get what you pay for..nothing. I’m pretty sure I’m making everyone angry here because no one thinks me yelling in this stupid voice with these mittens on is funny.  It seemed funny in my head but now I guess I realize I’m doing it to make people angry.”

Lu observed all this human filth, and even through the haze of his throbbing death pains, he now knew what it was to feel human.

“wake up dada,”

“dada,”

“da..”

“da...”

The Doctor is using the electricity hammers in both hands to shoot the Genie awake to the current steam-punk world he lives in.  Lu’s hand grazes the Doctor’s bare flushed cheeks and brings it up to one of the go-children’s faces. “How long...”

beeeeeeep     the machine goes.   Lu is gone.    Gone too soon.  

The funeral was in march but the weather was incredibly hot and sweaty so everyone was steamy and drunk and very hungry so the Preacher, Treach from Naughty by Nature, sped through the eulogy after a little disclaimer beforehand explaining that he knew everyone wanted to get this over with because of the discomfort.  And he did so. With out shame as there was nothing shameful about it since everyone knew that Lu didn’t care about this kind of stuff anyways. He always looked at the big picture. thats kind of what was great about him. Even when we were growing up it wasn’t about how we would build the derby car racer, it was how we were going to win it, what we would do with the prize money and when you get to hug Cindy and the rest of the girls we were going to grow up with and learn from. He was like that, and it makes sense when I think about it now. It isn’t about who is here right now or how they are feeling or what kind of pine this damn box is made out of, its about the life that was lived and what it did for everyone, the land and the feeling we are going to be able to carry with us forever. I loved Lu and I don’t give a crap if he felt the same way because thats how love works, and thats what he taught me.

Then Treach said, “this funeral is over” and he threw the index cards he was reading from threw over his shoulder and into the open casket.

In Heaven, Lu walks up to Kimmy at the Jimmy John’s.  They smile and make loving eye contact together.  Intimate moments like these happen in Heaven. Its Heaven.  They order the food and Lu opts for the Jimmy chips, and Kimmy gets a soda.  “Cherry coke,” she says, while getting it herself.  Blink 182 is playing over the speakers and they both nod their heads and enjoy the catchy riffs and clever lyrics.  Kimmy taps her foot to the drumbeat, and accidentally steps on Lu’s foot.  “Oh! I’m sorry!” her face is red with embarrassment.  Jimmy Hoffa is the manager that day.  “Is everything okay folks?”  

“Oh yes, my food is great!”  Kimmy says.

“Glad to hear it,” Jimmy Hoffa who works at Jimmy’s John’s says.

AN END

Glory Hunters

Lance and Terry are the Glory Hunters.  Lance and Terry always try to get every kind of glory so that people will praise them and celebrate them in the town they live in.  One time they both lived in the worst neighborhood in the city and got beat up so brutally that their neighbors just gave up on trying to rob them of their self-respect and left them alone. Another thing they did was go into all folks’ houses and beat their butts with billy clubs so bad that their butts got a black eye and no one could go to the washroom for a whole week. Everyone loved and hated them for this because they performed a duty they all desired yet were too weak to carry out. Also the beating was merciless and senseless in nature. I’m incredibly so serious to you right now, you gotta believe me!

     They loved glory more than anything in the whole big world. Sometimes (with their power) they would enable other people the power to feel the burning power of glory, which is a very sacred glory in its own right.  Perhaps the greatest glory of all is the glory of handing someone the dangerous baton of fire. Its a giant hot glass tube that is filled with the finest treats that have ever been humanly invented. Some say the sugar within is from the tears of Zeus’s funny but also furry and cute dog.  One can only gaze at it in the tube but can never lay the sweet treats both salty and sweet upon anyone’s tounge or tooth because one could never bear to eat a piece of anything ever again.  A complete tounge-blowout would occur and all teeth would be stale.
Terry and Lance were strong and searched for several years in hooded and obvious  gorilla disguises for the right person to bestow the tube to. But who would it be? Who could hold this tube for the glory of the two boys with the bronzed schlongs that caught the approval of all who glansed.  Who would give the glory for the glory hunters? They were the golden twins! None could compare to these two who grabbed what they wanted that none other could try to grab.  They were meant for glory and not for the money, the glory alone would feed the two. The glory would heal any tears in their many muscles, and would warm their supple bodies.  It affected them differently than most people who have to earn dollars and love humans like normal people. The glory did this to them.

Terry was ready. Lance was ready to advance as well but didn’t want to say it out loud. The golden eye-balled girl worked on a pier and had very toned upper booby muscles that were capable of hurling any amount of milk barrels at any given hour. The hot-boys were ready to approach the girl as she was panting on the pier after working for 18 hours straight. They thought that she would not lash out in their prepubescence, which usually happened because most people witnessed their parents beat by the boys so many years ago. But the boys misunderstood her panting, because she wasn’t panting at all, that was the way she yawned when things got like this on the pier. She was fully charged and grabbed the boys by their full penises, which were erect at that point because of the moist nature of the weather. Her hands were soft as clay like the day she was born. The boys were steaming at this point that her hands burned from the temperature, yet she did not call out or break a sweat, this was one of the reasons the two wanted to give her the tube.  They grappled, perspired and jumbled one anothers bods to keep warm as well as to harm the other.  Terry would punch Lance to make it look like they weren’t getting along to fool the Golden Eye-balled girl. But this season she wouldn’t listen to reason...not like the last one.

The sun had begun to set.  Golden was the horizon, and all eyes were on those violent golden twins. Lazily they rolled around in the sand with their lashes clasping to and fro, but to no end. Families would run away from the scene because they were afraid one of them would give up and be hungry and humiliated in front of them. Lots of people just plain moved away, my family was one of those groups that felt it safer in that way.  

Just at that point the boys decided to surrender their love to the girl. They dropped down on the ground and started begging the girl to give them the glory.  What could the two well-cooked twins do, they were teens in their sense after all? They pleaded, “we are here to give you this famous tube. You know the one! You just got to take it! We are starving for glory. You know that too! You know that if we don’t get the glory soon our whole property will go up for sale and we will have to live in a normal place that gives us nothing to heal our bodies with! You just gotta take this tube from us!”

The girl from Alobama said to the two water faced fools, “I want you two to hurt! You two are so glory crazed that you have forgotten that glory is for the brave not for the hungry! Also you beat up my little family and flooded all of the schools with your greedy glory hunting! My sister is mad bad angry with you two because she wanted me to go to a school that teaches you how to fix buildings right and such. But I can’t now. All the schools are broken!”  The girl hugs all of the juice and scum out of the boys and they give a final whimper that is pathetic to all who hear the scene on their Ham radios and free-wifis. G-girl takes the skin husks and flaps them over her knee and fills them with sand and sews them up with dental floss as a lesson to all.  She beats their butts over and over again with her ferociously hot hands burnt from their fiery penises.  The slapping sound wakes up God and alllllllllll of the people in the place they live.

But time passes and the girl falls girl-asleep (half normal asleep and half feline asleep, its different than most slumbers). The dummy is unaware that the twins can empty their bodies any time they want, they used such a trick to once fill themselves to claim the glory of filling oneself up with new-brew and brown-bread in a previous episode. The two boys made out on the girls lap and performed a troffing which is the committing of oral sex upon a woman from two or more heads at one time to induce haunted orgasmares to scare the woman into submission.  And they did. But not before she screamed and punched the back of their heads so real that they had to run into the water to cool the burning on their skulls which was very strong mind you. It boiled the water so baddly and insanely that all of the fisher men and prostitutes that live in huts along the beach had to drag themselves to the ruined hospitals.  Fire lived in most of the hospitals here and refused to leave until they found a better place for them to rest and grow old. Until that point, “no deal” is what they (the fire) would declare.  

The girl, now under the mental-possession of the towns people who controlled the boys, wanted her to take the hard hot tube for the sake of them all.  That is what they wanted so that they could get rest and get back to work again. “Enough!” is what they demanded and fantasized about! In her zombied state she accepted the tube and slid it into her overalls.  Tears ran down her cheeks because she wanted to return to her old life as a barrel major for the pier but the boy who accompanied Terry would not let her do that duty again.  They wanted only the glory. Remember glory was paramount in their priorities. Her feelings were secondary to the glory they worked for. It was vital for their infancy and peace of mind. She had to get it in writing so they drove her in their GIANT car that was custom fitted for adventure and made to support their absurd frames filled with rock hard bones and tense pulsating nervous systems. At the entrance of the great old super big building they gently pushed her along so that she would at least get in there to sign the papers saying that she did indeed own the tube of end-all-be-all of treats so perfect that one would never eat again.  She walked so slow that the the two lovely and angry boys had several mean meals delivered to them in their car by a pretty waitress before the now famous and important woman even touched the push handle of the facility. Yet after some waiting she entered and returned vomiting and bleeding from the ulcers that developed from the tension she was putting herself under because of the boys glory-hungry nature.

They placed a hand on her forehead and guided her into the car, Lance sat in the back seat with her and Terry drove. I could see Terry looking in the rear view mirror talking to the two from the front. I can’t know what he was saying or where they were going but I know that there was something beautiful happening and doubt that I will know ever find out as I am just a normal boy and human not a great greedy one like the three of them. My life will run its coarse, I will have my own children one day that will want to know and they will know this very feeling but not exactly because they will never see the boys and girls because it is clear they are working on something somewhere to get some new kind of glory that we cant even get a feeling. For because we are just normals. THE END!